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Before the joy of motherhood has graced us with its presence, we've all been "pregnancy virgins" with little to no clue about what expecting a baby involves. All we have to go on are the stories from other women who've been there. Some of them are sweet. Others -- not so much.
Unfortunately, it's those not-so-sweet stories that stick in our heads sometimes, and we focus on those when we think of getting pregnant. Or we fixate on the little things about expecting that make us squeamish. But we shouldn't. Some aren't true. Some are exaggerated. Most of them just don't matter.
Here are eight things "pregnancy virgins" get wrong about expecting a baby.
1. You'll want to schedule a C-section -- labor sounds like hellGuilty as charged on this one -- and I continued to believe it through a lot of my first pregnancy. Many of us get so used to hearing about the horrors of childbirth that elective Cs start to sound pretty enticing. But that's simply not true. Both ways of having a baby have their benefits and drawbacks, and cesareans wind up being the reality for about a third of pregnant moms because of various conditions. But the American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) recommends always trying for a vaginal birth unless a C-section is medically necessary. You may find, like I did, that labor isn't always so bad!
2. You'll never be the same "down there." This isn't something I gave any thought to until I started hearing other women (and men) whispering about it. Once I did, I was sort of terrified -- obsessed, even. I started doing research and delicately broaching the subject with good friends. What I found was that how delivery affects the vagina depends on genetics, size of baby and a host of other factors -- and there are exercises you can do to help. But for many women, things pretty much go back to normal in time.
3. Your belly button will pop out and it's horrifying (does it stay that way?!). Yes, this is a weird thing that happens in pregnancy when you really start to show, usually some time in the second trimester. But let's not freak out about it. It's really no big deal and it isn't permanent.
4. You'll never want to have sex -- too uncomfortable! There are times pregnant moms feel this way, sure -- especially in the first and third trimesters. I certainly did. That said, many of us are in the mood during those nine months too. It's different for everyone, and it's okay if it fluctuates.
5. You'll want to have sex all the time -- it's the hormones! I've heard of expectant women feeling this way, and I'm insanely jealous. But it's mostly the stuff of movies. The reality for a lot of us is that we have those times when we're all about sex and other times when we're totally not. Just check with your doctor if you have any questions about sex during pregnancy.
6. You'll cry at everything. This is another cliche we see a lot on TV, and it does happen to some pregnant moms. In my case, I got a little more weepy during pregnancy because of the extra hormones and emotions swirling around, but it wasn't dramatically different from how I usually am. If you're crying constantly, make sure to talk to your OB to make sure everything is okay.
7. Your water will break in public as the first sign of labor -- embarrassing! Despite what we see and hear about how labor starts with your water breaking, this is only true for a relatively small percentage of women. For the rest of us (me included), contractions start first and then the water breaks -- or is broken by doctors or midwives -- later. If it does break when you're out and about, it probably won't be this huge gush -- more like a steady trickle. Chances are, people won't judge you, either, because it will be pretty obvious what's happening. Just be sure you chat with your doctor about what to do if that does happen first.
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